Loyalty

5x5

Two days before the wedding he stops nervous and alone by Mamoru's, and Usagi greets him almost like an old friend. But that's kinda nice; too long under the curse and he'd forgotten how to laugh.

He apologizes to his master in mumbles, alone upstairs, with Usagi rattling up the kitchen for some unmentionable dinner. Ever since that endless gray time began, four years as an insensate shadow clutching a painting, he's been torn in two. Master, Queen. Endymion, Beryl. He had taken him back. She had turned to him.

He goes to use the bathroom. There's a pink porcelain rabbit on the back of the toilet. Ever since he's seen his master, he's been thinking of his queen. Drifting dead was easy. This isn't. He's hard enough that it's hard to piss, and for a moment he just sits down on the toilet, crumples, scrubs one hand over his face with his hair curling into his eyes and fists his cock with the other, once, hard, and her cold dark eyes are softening for she had turned to him--and then thinks that if her split-off little human shadow had lived instead of her, had her power instead of her, oh fuck, she's really dead.

He chokes back tears.

A little while later, when a worried Mamoru knocks, he says he's just feeling a little queasy. Still getting used to this food thing. Been a while since he had to be human.

Mamoru leaves, and he's lied to his master, and he slides to the floor, divided.